A Funny Thing Happened…at the Iron Shed

Round and round we go…circling the block…they are still there!  Off to the office, drive back…round and round we go…ahh, finally – the place to myself!

 

That’s the routine I’ve been on all summer.  Where have I been circling?  The Iron Shed gym in Vinton. 

 

There are so many reasons why women don’t want to work out in front of other people.  A public figure is even worse.  Just what you want – a camera phone capturing you struggling to get through that 5th sit up, shakily lifting 10 pounds over your head, correcting a panty crawl or YE GADS, perspiring!    I can see the campaign mailings now…”Too Hot in Vinton, Time to Get OUT!” or “She Sweats the Small Stuff.  Get a Cool Leader.”  And the video phones taking it to YouTube!  Can you imagine?  She’s walking to the scale ready for the good news after an hour of working, gets on and sighs, the shoulders slump down, NADA.  “You Want a Problem Solver!”  is the title for that one.  You all are going to think I have a phobia about YouTube.  I DO!  Doesn’t everybody?

 

Here’s the better take on it…building strength, iron will, strong determination, right?  Now there’s some great campaign ads…two stories to everything.

 

All summer, step by step, I’m building strength all by myself in the Iron Shed.  Going in at 10:30 or 11:00 at night to be by myself.  Yesterday, I come back into town from Des Moines at 7:00 and drive by…awww, someone is in there. 

I think to myself, “Self, you can walk 3 miles an hour now and lift 20 pounds over your head.  Pull your socks up, square your shoulders and go on in.”    I step in and confidently look around at who is there and say brightly to the first couple, “Hi!”  All I get back is a mumble-mumble, no eye contact and to make it even more obvious to me, they avert their eyes.  Wow, what did I do?  False bravado slipping a little, the next person gets only a little less bright “Hi!” and the same covert behavior occurs!

 

Hmmm…my Life Coach said nothing about this oddness.  I came out from changing into my gym clothes and being a forgiving person, I decide to give them another chance.  I look over and give them my sweetest “it never loses” smile.  Again, deflected from eye contact!  Hey, I think  I’m starting to get it.  Either these total strangers hate me (which definitely happens in my job) OR all of this time I was circling the block for nothing?!?  I didn’t realize there are unwritten “GYM LAWS”.  Someone should have told me! 

 

*Friends – This is like not saying you have something in your nose or a piece of broccoli in your teeth.  Come on!  You know I’m coming here and you can’t tell me there are GYM LAWS that are unspoken and unwritten? *

 

Gym law, an unbreakable code that says you do not, under any circumstances, look at each other, no camera phones, no video phones, talking or even laughing.  The surreptitious looks would make a New Yorker proud!  Only loud rock music and the occasional grunts are audible…got it now… nobody here but me!  While I’m by myself, I have those occasional dark thoughts of what would happen to me if I keeled over while trying to maintain the 140 cardio rate the doctor ordered.  What’s the GYM LAW for that one, huh?

 

The scales are usually my first thing.  Armed with the new knowledge I can come and go anytime, no one home but me, no videophones to catch this weigh-in, I stride up to the scale and…WHAT!?  I am less than 199+ smiley face, FINALLY.  I turn around wanting to yell it to SOMEBODY, but think better of it.  After all, I’m a lawmaker, not a lawbreaker. 

 

But even though I can’t scream “Thank you God!” to the heavens, there are no slumping shoulders today.  I made it to my 1st goal!  Where’s YouTube when you need it?  The taglines for this campaign ad would be:  “Hard Work Pays Off”, “Pettengill Never Had a Barrier She Couldn’t BEAT”, “Success is the BEST Revenge” and then, “Life is good.” 

 

Onward and downward to the next goal!